Putting Yourself In The Equation

What we’re taught vs. the real truth, part 2.

Hey Friend, 

We may not always feel like we have a choice, but we do. The pressure to do the right thing turns simple decisions into an arduous process. And, this is where most people get stuck. 

Who decides what the right thing to do is? 

In my article Shifting Perspectives, I talk about the vortex of indecision known as the in-between space. It’s where your mind gets stuck trying to solve a problem. 

I gave you 3 perspectives that keep most people stuck in their lives. Could you relate to them? 

Here are 4 more perspectives that we often don’t realize hold us back from our own happiness. 

1. Most people think if they could change themselves and stop overthinking the situation it would go away.

The truth is, your happiness is trying to come out. It's telling you something is wrong and it needs to change. 

2.. Most people think, if others would change, then it would get better.

The truth is, you can’t change others. Changing yourself changes your situation.

3. Most people think that if they make a lot of money, drive a nice car, go on fancy vacations, have perfect children then they will be happy. Nice things = happiness.

The truth is, Real happiness emanates from within. You’ll enjoy the money, the house, the car, the children when you figure out that shining your true, everlasting internal happiness is your foundation.  Outside happiness is hollow and dissipating quickly. It's unreliable and keeps you feeling off balance.

4. Most people think everyone else is happier.

The truth is, everyone is challenged. Being human means you will have challenges. Challenges teach us the truth about love. And, Love is the point of being human. 

Can you relate to any of these?

Let me give you a quick example of what I'm talking about. 

My parents were married for over 65 years. Cinderella and Snow White are still married. I thought that would be my story too. Marriage is forever. Divorce happens to other people, right?

Surprisingly after 23 years of marriage, I became one of those people. I missed the warning signs because my perspectives were out of alignment. My heart was in the right place but I had no idea how powerful I truly am. I was clueless about the laws of the universe and my ability to imagine, dream, and create my own life. 

Here’s the highlight reel: 

In those days when life felt rocky and hard I thought it was me. If I fixed myself then I would fix my problem (this is true).

At first, I thought I just needed more interests outside of the family. I started playing tennis, joined a book club, and volunteered, stuff like that. However, trying to fix my problems by changing my outside world didn’t work. These were only temporary fixes. 

I told myself everyone goes through challenging times. This will work itself out naturally. 

Fast forward: I needed help figuring this out. Therapy taught me I needed to go inside and do a little house cleaning. I was longing to understand my deeper self and that didn’t come from outside activities. That didn’t come from blaming my husband and expecting him to change. That didn’t come from driving a nice car and living in a beautiful home. 

I tried to do the right thing, but I wasn’t including myself in the equation. 

The bottom line: Your secret sauce is missing.

The great Maya Angelou said, “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”

There’s so much more of you that you haven’t even tapped into yet. Understanding that you are an energetic being, designed to be different from others is your superpower.

You're a unique piece of the puzzle.

The world and the people around you, need you to be you. You need to be you to feel good about yourself. You can love your life. 

The pivot begins in your thoughts: Maybe you don’t have unsolvable problems.

Maybe you just misunderstood who you really are.

Connecting to yourself is the pathway to change. You can change anything. You are way more powerful than you realize. You just have to know how. And having the tools to do it can help you.

How often do you leave yourself out of the equation?

With Love & Expansion,

Rebecca